The Horror

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I f*** dead people

HAMILTON, OHIO – Williams dealt with the grief for years before being told of an even more nightmarish crime – her sister’s body was sexually assaulted by a Hamilton County morgue worker as it was awaiting autopsy.

“I thought burying my sister was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do,” she told Hamilton County Common Pleas Court Judge Nadine Allen. “I thought we could just put it behind us and lay it to rest, but when this happened, I re-lived her death all over again.” Read the rest of this entry »

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COLUMBIA – Luis Alfonso Sanchez, a simple Christian farmer from Colombia, upon learning that his wife no longer wanted to have sex with him did what any good husband would do–cut off those pesky testicles. Luis, an expert castrator due to years of experience on the farm, thought that procedure would be simple. Not quite:

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Jason Somerville admitted killing his wife Rebecca Chamberlain (top left) and neighbour Tisha Lowry. Photos / Simon Baker, supplied

Jason Somerville admitted killing his wife Rebecca Chamberlain (top left) and neighbour Tisha Lowry. Photos / Simon Baker, supplied

CHRISTCHURCH, NEW ZEALAND – A man who has admitted murdering two women and burying their bodies beneath his house had sex with both victims after killing them.

In Christchurch District Court this morning, Jason Paul Somerville, 33, admitted killing his wife Rebecca Chamberlain, 35, and neighbour Tisha Lowry, 28.

Police found the women’s bodies under Somerville’s Wainoni house in early September. Tisha Lowry was murdered in September 2008 after she disappeared while walking home. Rebecca Chamberlain was killed on August 30, 2009. Read the rest of this entry »

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Apparent incident of at-home enlargement gone wrong.

AbsolutelyNew-Orb_RingNEWPORT BEACH, CALIFORNIA – In a case of do-it-yourself male enhancement gone awry, a local man had to be hospitalized after a metal dumbbell ring became stuck on his penis and caused the organ to swell to five times its normal size, authorities report.

The incident, first reported by the Daily Pilot, began with the man’s ill-conceived attempt to enlarge his penis and ended Tuesday in a Newport Beach hospital room, where rescuers sawed the ring away and spared the man’s member. Read the rest of this entry »

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Maybe a chart such as this could have settled the matter in a more reasonable fashion

Maybe a chart such as this could have settled the matter in a more reasonable fashion

DURBAN, SOUTH AFRICA – The former manager of the Merseyside Pub, where four people were killed over an argument of the size of genitals, told the Durban High Court on Monday that she had a “bad feeling” about the men now accused of murder.

“I remember telling my husband that I had a bad feeling about the five Indian guys who were playing roughly amongst themselves on the night of the shooting before anything happened,” said Michelle Andrew, who was present on the night of the alleged murders. Read the rest of this entry »

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Being held at gunpoint by a naked 91-year-old man wasn't punishment enough

Being held at gunpoint by a naked 91-year-old man wasn't punishment enough

LAKE WORTH, FLORIDA – Naked, grizzled and grumpy after having been rudely awakened, Robert E. Thompson, of Lake Worth, Fla., reached for his loaded .38 caliber revolver and shuffled his way out back where his dog was growling ferociously.

The World War II veteran encountered a drunken man who couldn’t speak English; 26-year-old Jose Pasqual was trying to fend off Thompson’s Rottweiler/Doberman pinscher mix, according to the Palm Beach Post. Read the rest of this entry »

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Miami Man Loses His Manhood and Fights Back in Court

Paul Perito's penis implant

Paul Perito's penis implant

MIAMI, FLORIDA – Medical malpractice litigation tends to put a price on human body parts. Got your spleen punctured during a messy surgery? Here’s a few thousand for your pain and suffering. Lost a big toe? That’s six-figure territory. A recklessly amputated arm might net you a million bucks.

We may soon find out what a penis is worth.

Behold the plight of 62-year-old Coral Gables resident Enrique Millas. All the poor guy wanted to do was have sex with his wife of 25 years, Gloria. But he couldn’t. So he went to local penis guru Paul E. Perito, a urologist who touts himself as a national leader in penile implant surgery. And here our story swerves into Saw-caliber horror territory. Read the rest of this entry »

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Gangrene: the disease to stop even the most devoted fetishist

Gangrene: the disease to stop even the most devoted fetishist

MIAMI, FLORIDA – A South Florida man who lost his penis after coming down with an infection following surgery to treat his erectile dysfunction has filed a lawsuit.

Sixty-two-year-old Enrique Milla is suing his doctor for allegedly not informing him of the risks involved with the procedure.

Milla’s attorney says his client was not told that his advanced and uncontrolled diabetes put him at a greater risk of infection and said his client would have skipped the surgery if he were made aware of the potential consequences. Read the rest of this entry »

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Boiled frank and beans?

Boiled frank and beans?

QUEENS, NEW YORK – The Queens man whose wife dumped boiling water on his genitals as he slept Monday morning says he doesn’t want his spouse of 21 years to be incarcerated, he just wants a divorce.

Speaking to CBS2 from the hospital where he’s recovering from 2nd and 3rd degree burns, Emmanuel Ojofietimi insisted he hasn’t cheated on her… lately: “Maybe 20 years ago, 15 years ago.” (He also tells the Post, “She kept nagging and nagging me all the time.”) Read the rest of this entry »

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Will he ever drill again?

Will he ever drill again?

OXFORDSHIRE, UNITED KINGDOM – A UK carpenter has accidentally chopped off his own penis while sawing timber to build a cabinet, his mother says.

Stuart Keen’s mother, Edna, said her 54-year-old son had been cutting wood when he suffered the horrific accident.

She said surgeons were able to reattach the severed appendage.

“Stuart is a carpenter and uses sharp and sometimes dangerous tools,” said Mrs Keen.

“This was an unfortunate accident, but these things happen all the time to people in his profession.” Read the rest of this entry »

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