Dapper Dick creator Noelle McIlwaine (left) with Pirate Hardwood and life-sized prototype (right) Photo: Joe Brown

“Let’s face it, girls like to play dress-up,” says Noelle McIlwaine, who is debuting Dapper Dicks, her first line of cock-couture at this year’s Adult Entertainment Expo. “So if you give us something to play with, and something to laugh about, you’re gonna get laid! I mean it’s a 99-percent chance that it’s gonna happen.”

It all started when her husband came home from work one evening, and he wanted to get it on.

“And I told him the whole ‘I’ll take care of later’ thing. Hey, girls get tired! I’m a mom of five, and I have a full-career (she’s from Bible-Belt Atlanta, and already has made a sale to a pastor’s wife).

McIllwaine’s husband walked away and reappeared — sporting a toilet-paper roll crowned with a little lion head.

He was trying to entice her into bed? With a leonine love muscle?

“He was,” she confirms. “And he scored. And that’s how Dapper Dicks was born.”

“Some guys just need a little more help, you know what I mean?” says McIlwaine, one of many erotica entrepreneurs on the periphery of the AEE exhibit hall. “Our job is to put these outfits together for the guys, so they can entice their wives or girlfriends or others, to get into the whole roleplay thing. Because guys really don’t have anything! They’ve got elephant underwear, and that’s it.”

So McIlwaine came up with a series of appendage apparel: shake hands with Stroker the Cowboy, Pirate Hardwood, pinstriped Dapper Dick, Private Willy (“sports his fatigues standing at full attention waiting for orders”), Fireman Rick and Dr. Dick Longellow. Complete with hats and appropriate accessories, they’ll run you $35-$45.

“What about sizing?,” I hear the reader wonder.

“One size fits all,” says McIlwaine. “I made sure there was a Spandex interior, that way it’s really smooth going on and off, because some guys are really sensitive.”

So it fits the all-American, and it also expands to Man-O’-Beef.

Still, there’s always gonna be that one guy who insists the genital get-up is too small for him…

McIlwaine says she’s sitting on 200 more ideas for future costumes. Coming soon: “Animal Kingdom,” “Tasty Snacks,” and a “Hollywood Boneyard” series, with Captain Prickhard and Dark Invader. Imagine what she could do with “Twilight.” Or “Avatar.” Or “Titanic”…

“Relationships need to sparked and spontaneity needs to be kept going,” McIlwaine says. “I figure if I can add one marriage by adding the spark back into it, I’ve done my job.”

Courtesy Las Vegas Weekly

More Weirdness for Your Penis…

Pricasso, Penis Painter, Takes on South Africa’s Malema
Man Charged in Penis Puppet Incident

But soon Moss will be covered up and her joyrides outlawed. This week, the town’s city council adopted a ban on public nudity and the mayor signed the ordinance. The order takes effect in February and applies to anyone over the age of 8.

The nudity issue arose in 2008, when Moss started bicycling around Ashland wearing little more than a smile. More complaints came last summer, when a retired computer programmer visiting the city took nude strolls near an elementary school. Then a vacationer from Minnesota exposed himself in October.

Ashland had already banned the exposing of genitalia in parks and downtown. Tuesday night’s decision to expand the ban brought a threat of legal action from the American Civil Liberties Union, which says it violates the Oregon Constitution’s protection of free expression.

In a 1985 decision, the Oregon Court of Appeals upheld Portland’s ban on public nudity. But the court also ruled that public nudity can be a protected form of expression, such as during a protest.

And that’s exactly what Moss says she is doing.

“I just wanted to stand up for evolution,” she said. “In Europe it’s no big deal to see naked people. It will be nice when Americans have evolved and they won’t even notice that I’m naked anymore.”

And if you think being nude for Moss is about sex, you’re wrong, she says.

“I do not watch pornography and I support committed, monogamous relationships based on mutual respect. I do believe people have the right to do pornography, but it drains the human soul. Sex is sacred and is about making love, not war,” Moss said the Ashland Daily Tidings.

Moss, whose parents “are just your normal, everyday people,” moved to Ashland from Ojai, Calif., because of its lax public nudity law.

A former waitress, Moss quit that job over “concern about pesticides, herbicides, chemical use and cruelty to animals,” according the Daily Tidings.

She has now been working as “kind of a life coach for people,” and is looking for a new job, Moss told the paper.

Anybody hiring?

Courtesy CBSNews.com: Television, United States

Made for Moss…

Expat Life in Germany: Caution, Naked Cyclists Crossing Ahead
UK Gears Up for Nude Bicycle Ride

Since then, the vehicle has stopped driving around with girls stripping on the Strip.

One tour bus driver said since the truck hit the streets of Las Vegas, he has seen a few accidents and close calls from drivers trying to get a closer look inside the truck.

County commissioners questioned the safety and legality of having dancers climbing and spinning on poles in the bed of a moving truck, encased in Plexiglas. The company decided to halt the project before being forced to by lawmakers.

But now, they are ready to hit the road once again after a brief hiatus.

Courtesy Inquisitr.com

Must increase bust... must increase bust... must...

The North hypnotherapist says all women need do to get bigger breasts is listen to his CD . . . and he even gives a 100pc money back guarantee.

If his claims were true, women would be able to think themselves into having fulsome figures like that of glamour model Sophie Read.

Mr Knight’s remarkable claims come under the microscope in the new series of Inside Out, which starts this week, when presenter Chris Jackson decides to lift the lid on the world of hypnotherapy.

Together with his 10-strong investigative team, he shows how easy it is to set yourself up as an “accredited” hypnotherapist with absolutely no qualifications.

The investigation shows that while there are several hypnotherapy organisations, none of them are regulated by law and there are no standard qualifications.

When they investigate Mr Knight’s claims, they play a small section of his CD, in which the Northallerton hypnotherapist can be heard saying: “Your breasts are growing . . . growing larger now.”

He tells Inside Out that his figure is based on his own customer feedback and a study of 22 women carried out in the 1970s.

Chris said: “Mr Knight says his CD is 85% successful growing women’s breasts and given he’s made thousands from it, I wanted to find out exactly what evidence he has to back up his claim.”

Mr Knight claims women actually grow their own breasts with their minds, although the show meets an expert who says there is no research to show hypnosis can make boobs bigger.

Mr Knight said: “Every lady’s breasts today have been grown by the mind. The mind grows it, so the mind can enhance it. Fact.”

They also meet a hypnotist who claims to be able to help people stop smoking.

George McNaney from East Rainton, near Sunderland, is a self-proclaimed “hypnotist to the stars” who claims an “up to 90%” success rate for treating smokers using hypnotherapy techniques, for a one-off payment of £129.

Detailed clinical studies report that hypnosis can help only around 20-35% of smokers, but Mr McNaney responds by saying that he’s less interested in clinical tests than what works for his clients.

Inside Out learns that while Mr McNaney has a website offering hypnotherapy services, he isn’t the director of any registered hypnotherapy company.

He is, however, the director of an outfit that predicts who’s going to win at horse racing . . . so long as you send nearly £5300 to a South Shields PO Box for the privilege of finding out.

He claims this scheme is no longer in operation and was stopped before he became a hypnotherapist.

In last week’s Sunday Sun, Inside Out presenter Chris Jackson revealed his cat George would have a starring role in the programme. In tomorrow’s show the pet moggy becomes an “accredited” hypnotherapist.

Chris registered the ginger and white rescue cat with several seemingly professional industry organisations and all he needed was a fake diploma and a fee.

The fact that so many people are setting themselves up as experts worries hypnotherapist Andy Austin, who blows the whistle on his own industry.

He claims internet forums are full of clueless hypnotherapists.

He said: “People are often spending their money in good faith, believing that the person they are paying is fully registered, fully qualified and is a professional.”

However, some of the organisations with whom George the cat was registered applaud Inside Out’s investigative efforts.

However, one organisation responds by saying that they don’t check their applicants, saying they are merely a member benefits company.

:: Inside Out will be screened tomorrow night at 7.30pm on BBC One.

Courtesy Sunday Sun: United Kingdom

Angie Pontani, courtesy angiepontani.com

After her dancing, Weirdie Girl takes the jewel-box stage as a despondent beauty pageant contestant. Her sash reads “Miss Understood.” Slowly working her way out of a red ball gown, she reveals a beaded bikini and another sash across her chest, this time with the words, “Weapons of Mass Destruction.”

The Slipper Room opened in the mid-1990s, amid a burlesque revival in New York that began at loft parties and underground clubs. Many dismissed it as a passing nightlife fad — another reaction to the crackdown on adult entertainment by then-Mayor Rudolph Giuliani. But the audience for burlesque has continued to grow steadily over the past decade.

Back on stage, Weirdie Girl is finally crowned “Miss America” and pulls out a knife, smearing what looks like blood across her bare midriff. She’s practically naked, but this is social commentary.

Don’t Call It Striptease

Sara Angevine, a graduate student at Rutgers University, came to the Slipper Room for a birthday party. She says she has seen her share of drag shows and adult entertainment, but none were like this.

“I don’t think it’s the same as any type of, like, normal strip show,” Angevine says. “It’s celebrating women’s sexuality and their bodies in a way that I think gives them a lot of ownership.”

Whatever you think about the potential for female empowerment through burlesque, the context for it has changed radically since the 1940s. Back then, it was like vaudeville’s red-headed stepchild, and Mayor Fiorello La Guardia unceremoniously shut down Times Square clubs.

“Most men were showing up to watch it mainly because this was their big chance to see a naked woman,” says Michael Musto, who frequently writes about burlesque for his column in the Village Voice.

“There weren’t a lot of opportunities to see naked bodies at that time, except in very covert places,” Musto says, based on his research. “Nowadays, of course, you could find some peep show — whatever’s left in New York — or just turn on your computer and you have access to all kinds of nudity. So I think the people that go to burlesque now are not just getting their ya-ya’s off. They’re enjoying it really as an entertainment.”

It Takes All Kinds

The Pontani Sisters

Angie Pontani started her career on the Coney Island boardwalk, where they still have rough-and-ready weekly burlesque shows.

“I trained in dancing from about 4 years old,” Pontani says. “Then as I got older … I studied pointe and I studied some Martha Graham and some modern, which was absolutely not for me at all.”

So today, Pontani co-produces the New York Burlesque Festival — which this weekend reclaims Times Square, where feather boas reigned decades ago. More than a hundred people will perform, some traveling from as far away as Sweden and Japan.

In New York, aspiring festival participants — women and the occasional man — can learn the craft at the New York School of Burlesque.

Jo Boobs — not her real name (that’s Jo Weldon) — is the school’s headmistress. Much of the time, her class doesn’t feel especially different from a dance or theater workshop — except for the fact that everyone is wearing 4-inch heels. But there’s more here than mascara and body glitter: a spirit typical of burlesque — acceptance.

“I get really excited,” Boobs says, “when I’m working with someone who’s been through a major trauma or is disabled. I’ve had a private class with a woman who had a double mastectomy and taught her to twirl tassels.”

As she explained to one of her classes, Boobs has learned to reconcile burlesque’s past with its more liberated present.

“What’s really radical about burlesque is taking a form that represents an era that was extremely oppressive to women and honors their art form, which was left behind,” Boobs says.

With a revival that’s been going strong for 10 years, it’s not behind them anymore. You might say it’s all up front.

Courtesy NPR.org: Radio, United States

Another image search we were surprised turned up so many results

A neighbor complained Jonas has walked the neighborhood topless on multiple occasions, the Rock Hill (S.C.) Herald reported Thursday.

Deputies said Jonas could not give a clear answer when asked why she was “naked from the waist up” outside.

Jonas was charged with indecent exposure and taken to jail in lieu of $1,000 bond.

Courtesy TheMoneyTimes.com

Fetishes range from a desire to be more than friendly with a particular body part to a penchant for leather and whips to dressing up in full-out costumes (just to take them all off at a later time). Basically, if you like anything beyond what most would label as “normal,” you probably have a fetish.

If that’s what it takes, then you have a fetish. Lucky for you there are plenty of parties for you to go to. Here’s a list of the most popular:

Regular Old Fetish Party
If you’re someone who likes to see girls in rubber outfits then you’re like most people. Going to one of these parties isn’t much of a fetish as it is an excuse to look at hot girls in tight clothes. You could stay home and watch selected scenes from Cannonball 1 and 2, but if you want to see real girls then go to a fetish party.

It will be a good time to test your affinities to the fetish world. When one girl spanks another girl with a leather paddle are you turned on or embarrassed? It’s a good test to take. Fetishparty.com can guide you easily.

Foot Fetish Party
FootNight Foot Parties are slammin’ everywhere! The Website even has a link to a song called “Toe Hoe” by a foot model. These parties are so private that you aren’t allowed to know where the party is until you register. Once you’re there, you can let yourself go. Lick and sniff feet, feel the full weight of someone standing on your face, let her feet smother your face, come enjoy face trampling.

Not enough? There’s multi-girl foot worship! You can lick whipped cream off of someone else’s feet. Snacks and beverages provided.

Age Regression and Infantilism
There are some folks who like to wear diapers. There are also some who like to roleplay someone older or someone younger. Age regression lovers love to read stories. They don’t need to party.

Then, there are the ones who like to party like a baby. Some are called “Adult baby diaper lovers” and some are called “Sissy Babies.” For those who like diaper parties, there are a lot of them going on this year. One of them notes that you should remember to bring a change of diapers. Diaperspace.com also has an ad for diaper phone sex. You can have your own party at home on your phone with a “mommy” who will say things to you that would be awkward for most.

Plushies
Some Plushies like to have sexual intercourse with stuffed animals. Some just really love their stuffed animal. This page from a Plushie site gives information on how to make it work.

Captain Packrat gives tips on how to care for your stuffed animal. This Plushie page is devoted to a stuffed fox complete with midi song from Dr. Doolittle. Since the party is between the Plushie and the stuffed animal, there isn’t much need for a get-together with humans. But Plushies are usually welcome to Furry parties.

Furries
Furries like to wear full body animal costumes. When together, they look like a convention of team mascots but the goalposts aren’t the same as football. To be sure, however, not all Furries consider their “fursonas” as a sex fetish. There are a couple of big parties every year. In Europe, there is the Eurofurence and in the U.S. there is Further Confusion. Check out pictures from last year’s Eurofurence.

Further Confusion puts on a show during the party called Furry Night Live. According the site:

“The show content is rated equivalent to US MPAA PG-13: Parents Strongly Cautioned: Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13. Any questionable content and behavior is subject to approval by the FNL Lead. In particular, excessively vulgar language, blatantly sexual situations, bondage and BDSM gear is considered unacceptable. Collars and leashes may be worn discreetly or if their use is a necessary part of the act. If in doubt, ask, and ask early.”

Here is the promotion video for Further Confusion:

Courtesy DigitalCity.com

Cock-a-hoop: Igor Knyazkin holds the supposed 12-inch penis of Grigori Rasputin... or the fetus of Jar Jar Binks

Or at least, that’s what the owner of the museum claims. Then again, he’s also previously claimed that simply viewing the penis can cure men of impotency, when frankly we think it’s more likely to put them off sex for quite some time.

The erotica exhibition in St. Petersburg hosts a variety of sculptures and paintings – but the main attraction is the alleged 30 centimetre penis, preserved in a jar, looking unsettlingly like a Graboid from the film Tremors.

This is not the first time that people have claimed to be in posession of Rasputin’s severed member, which has reared its implausible head many times over the decades since his murder in 1916. No putative penis has ever been proven to be Rasputin’s, however.

Museum founder Igor Knyazkin has previously boasted of his prized possession: ‘Having this exhibit, we can stop envying America, where Napoleon Bonaparte’s reproductive organ is now kept.

‘Napoleon’s penis is but a small ‘pod’ – it cannot stand comparison to our organ of 30 centimeters.’

The veracity of Napoleon’s severed penis is also unconfirmed, although a shrivelled item said to be the French leader’s ex-phallus was sold to an American urologist at auction in 1977.

Courtesy Metro.co.uk

Such an oddly appropriate marriage between art and politics

The series of paintings will be completed during Sexpo, which will be held next weekend at Gallagher Estate in Midrand, and sold to visitors and collectors. Proceeds of the sales will be donated to charity.

“Even down under he’s a newsmaker,” says Pricasso, “widely influencing public opinion of South Africa worldwide.”

“As a fan of South Africa, and certainly a multiple visitor, I know that the majority of South Africans are opposite to what we read in the papers. The intention of this series of four paintings is not only to raise money for charity, but, importantly, to take a tongue-in-cheek position on a newsmaker who seems to grab headlines even when he has little to say.”

The Ignoramus series will be the latest installment of Pricasso’s collection of political works. Previously he has painted Tony Blair, George W Bush, DA leader Helen Zille and President Jacob Zuma.

Courtesy IOL.co.za: South Africa

We all want to work there, don't we?

Doctoral candidate Marcus Squirrell surveyed over 1,300 internet users who regularly frequented online sex, fetish and swinging sites to engage in online sexual activities, which included accessing erotic pictures, as well as interacting with others using chat rooms and webcams.

According to Squirrell, a “fairly large percentage” of respondents admitted to taking part in cybersex activities outside the comfort of their home.

“A lot of people who have got problems with compulsive online sexual behaviour can’t actually control themselves and end up doing it at work as well.

“These people are putting so much energy into cybersex – in some cases up to ten hours per day – that it is detracting from their relationship with their partner. It can also adversely affect other areas of their lives, such as their education and employment,” Squirrell told iTnews.

Breaking an addiction to cybersex can cause similar side-effects to those experienced by smokers attempting to quit, explained Squirrell.

“They typically experience withdrawal symptoms,” he said. “They often become irritable and angry and usually very anxious. They become preoccupied with not being able to access it.

“People actually use cybersex to regulate their mood so when they’re stressed they jump on the internet, look at porn for a while or chat with people online. So when they stop doing it they have all sorts of difficulties,” he said.

More than half the participants who engaged in cybersex were married or in a serious relationship, and 65 percent admitted to meeting their cybersex partners offline.

The study also found that cybersex participants were mostly male, well-educated, and – on average – 41 years old.

Squirrell hoped the study would help psychologists better understand the psychological characteristics of cybersex addicts and improve treatment.

Courtesy ITNews.com