Naked Circus » Naked Media

How to Masturbate an Elephant

NPI — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 05:20:20 +0000

.. And avoid getting a black eye

Sure to be a YouTube classic, this vet–educated in the masturbatory arts–explains the ins and outs of elephant ejaculation.

Naked Media: The Assumption Song

Associated Nudity — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:58:17 +0000

Despite what the video itself claims, the song is not by The Arrogant Worms. Which does not make it any less amusing.

Naked Media: Wardrobe Malfunction

Associated Nudity — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 03:37:33 +0000

We have no idea who this Miss Guarico is. We only know that she’s Venezuelan, and that ripping off her sarong was more revealing than she’d probably intended.

Miss Guarico – Watch today’s top amazing videos here

Naked Media: Fucking Furniture

Associated Nudity — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 06:03:47 +0000

Courtesy of our new best friend, Adam Frucci of Gizmodo, we have a video review of what it’s like to trip the stool fantastic with a… well, a foot stool.

Adam Reviews the Fleshlight Motion from Gizmodo on Vimeo.

Courtesy of Gizmodo (More hilarity to be found there.)

Naked Media: Doing Our Part to Raise Awareness

Associated Nudity — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 07:15:41 +0000

We here at Naked Circus care about the world we live in. So, in an attempt to help raise awareness of a cause near and dear to our hearts, we are presenting to you the following public service announcement.

Naked Media: Would you Like Some Milk with that Smoothie?

Associated Nudity — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 20:53:51 +0000

Yes, an enterprising coffee klatch in Washington state got shut down for excessive nudity, unsanitary milk dispensers and creative use of whipped cream. We here at Naked Circus can’t condemn this sort of behaviour strongly enough. If adults want some hot milk in their coffee, it’s no business of these sorts of killjoys…

Courtesy of KCPQ 13 News

Naked Media: Hot Milk MILF

Associated Nudity — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 17:47:52 +0000

Yes, dear readers, Hot Milk Lingerie is here to make… Well, you’ll just need to see for yourself.

Naked Media: The Naked Circus Movement

Associated Nudity — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 17:19:58 +0000

Yes, folks, we’re a movement now. Our new ringmaster contest has obviously caught media attention as Fox News New York anchorman Ernie Anastos decides to get in on the action with this clip.

They forced the poor bastard to apologize the following night, but we know it was all a show. Don’t worry, Ernie, we won’t hold the half-hearted apology against you in this contest. Keep fucking that chicken, Ernie, keep fucking that chicken.

Penis Enlargement Patch?

NPI — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 13:40:30 +0000

Your path to a magic wand?

GRAY, TENNESSEE – A company in the United States claims to have developed ProEnhance: The complete enhancement system for penis enlargement. Yes, that’s right, just slap on a patch and, like a chia-pet to water, watch your member grow. Not only does the product promise enlarged penises, but also staying power, erection control, better orgasms and a greater volume of semen.

From the website:

Here’s to your total sexual confidence!

Just think — no pills, weights or dangerous pumps, but 100% pure effectiveness on your most pressing sexual concerns. The ProEnhance™ patch works just like the patch many people use to quit smoking. Transdermal patch technology has been proved time and again to be one of the most effective ways to deliver nutrients to the body.

* Simple 3 day application, each patch lasts 3 whole days

* Looks just like a normal bandage or plaster, discreet and easy to use, with no embarrassing moments

* Two-part system delivers excellent results for men

* Both the patch and the exercise work in conjunction to give you optimal results. Together, they’re unbeatable!

The results you want or your money back! IMPORTANT to KNOW: Fewer than 2% of our customers ask for a refund. For everyone else, it’s obviously working!

Our patches are produced in a cGMP-certified Pharmaceutical Facility and combine the latest technologies and the oldest herbal awareness to offer you an alternative delivery system. Our patches contain only the best quality herbs.

Stop fretting and hoping you’re MAN enough. What you need is certainty, not hope. Use the ProEnhance™ system to help ensure that you are the best she has ever been with.

Wait a minute… nicotine patches deliver nutrients to the body? We don’t even know how “the oldest herbal awareness” combined with the “latest technologies” offers the customer an “alternative deliver system”. Does that mean maybe there’s some herb one can eat for a large penis–a Popeye penis supplement? And what’s with this exercise? We can’t find much out about that without buying the product, but after six months the site promises throbbing blood flow and rock hard erections. Maybe we need to call Miss Cleo, but we would bet IF the magic patch to a magic wand didn’t work out they might blame the customer’s lack of exercise. Just a thought.

But hey, if you try it out and it works for you, let us know. We at Naked Circus love happy endings–especially when they’re big and throbbing.

Naked Media: A Landmark in Naked Cinema

Associated Nudity — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 14:55:20 +0000

The very first animated porn flick, brought to you by your good friends at Naked Circus.