Where lingerie models go to die--Da Bliss

Unlike The Miss Universe pageant, the organizers of Lingerie Football League are at least honest about how they choose their participants.

“We make no bones about it.” Said Stephon McMillen, media director for the Los Angeles team. “We have to be able to pull fans into the arena so we looked for players that are beautiful, but they also have to be athletic and definitely have confidence.”

The players are gorgeous, freakishly tall and ridiculously skinny….(with the exception of having huge boobs- there isn’t much for these women to grab on to when making a tackle.)

Yes- there will be tackles. No punting and no field goals- but tackles.

The women have to look good when running at full steam. (Do you know how hard that is??) Since they aren’t wearing shirts- the numbers go on their ass.

I think women should play any sport that a man plays. I just wonder why we have to do it in garter belts and lace panties?! If they are indeed great athletes, and can tackle, then get involved with the Women’s Football Alliance. If you have to put on a full face of makeup before taking the field, and get a bikini wax, then it shouldn’t count as a sport.

Wedgie Foul or Foul Wedgie? Thank god they wax.

If you haven’t made plans for the weekend- and you wanna watch some chicks get slammed around in bras and underwear, you can head on out to the burbs. My guess is that most of those attending the game will be unattractive, overweight men, but if that describes you- then you’ll be among friends.

The Bliss’ first opponent will be the Miami Caliente. Tickets for the event in Hoffman Estates range from 8 to 63 bucks. If you miss them this time, the next home game isn’t until December 18th, when they play the Philadelphia Passion.

In the meantime, I’m going to do some digging and see if I can find out who is responsible for these terrible team names?? As if the Philadelphia Passion weren’t cheesy enough, there’s also the Dallas Desire, San Diego Seduction, and New York Majesty. Is this the best you could do?!

Former Bears coach Mike Ditka is taking an equity stake in the league, so maybe he helped come up with some of them.

You can do better than that, Mike!

I think Da Bliss has a better ring to it, don’t you?

Courtesy ChicagoNow.com

Rumor has it that Six Flags will use the device as the basis for a new ride.

The garment’s described objective is to allow marriage-minded women to essentially wear their ambitions, with a chest-mounted countdown clock (to what?) , pen and seal holster (for signing marriage contracts), and a ring receptacle that beeps “The Wedding March” when filled.

The whole assemblage looks like it would attract more unsolicited boob-touches than marriage proposals, but boob-touching is a known precursor to matrimony. Fact. In other news, somewhere in a quiet suburb of Tokyo, a retired feminism professor just swallowed a gun.

Since it’s not currently up for sale, and because it’s, well, patently ridiculous, the bra is a jokey publicity stunt more than anything else. But that didn’t stop Japanese news outlets from covering it to death, as seen below. As the old saying goes, “If it bleeds involves semi-nude women, it leads.”

Courtesy of Gizmodo

Do that voodoo that you do so well...

The incident took place in Bahia’s capital, Salvador, where 58-year-old Ivonete Pereira travelling to her summer home in the nearby town of Lauro de Freitas.

Because of frequent bus attacks in the region, she hid 150 reals (£45) in 20 and 10-real notes coiled inside the left cup of her bra.

When the bus passed through the Boca do Rio neighborhood, the robbers suddenly announced their intention. A shoot out ensued with a police officer on the scene and a stray bullet hit Miss Pereira.

Her bra was stuffed with just enough cash to absorb most of the impact, although she still had to be taken to hospital to have the bullet removed.

A retired police sergeant was shot dead during the clash with the assailants, who managed to escape.

Courtesy of The Telegraph UK