The bespectacled man, who is around 40, repeatedly sneaked up behind a 20-year-old employee on consecutive weekends.

CCTV footage shows the 5ft 9in balding ginger weirdo pretending to pick items off shelves before crouching behind the shelf stacker.

With his face near his victim’s bum, he seemed to be taking a sniff – and once got so close his nose touched the man.

The unnamed Co-op worker, of Plymouth, Devon, said: “I thought it was all a bit strange. I was shocked and couldn’t believe he was in the aisle for that long.”

Cops are asking for witnesses to the October 31 and November 7 attacks.

Det Con Steve White said: “It’s a bizarre incident. The shop was full of people. Someone must have seen the man.”

Courtesy of The Sun UK

Starr's masterpiece

“That’s disgusting,” said one woman.

“I think it’s funny,” said another.

What they’re buzzing about is an 8-foot-tall penis carving that stands tall enough to be seen in the backyard of a home.

It wasn’t erected, but instead carved out of a tree in the backyard of a home. Artistic expression? A fertility statue? The homeowner says no to both.

“Just ah kind of practical joke my friends played on me,” said homeowner Adam Starr.

The carving was once a pine tree that Starr needed cut down. He said he asked some friends to help him out, but a mix of alcohol and chainsaws created the above result.

“I came back and they left me a little surprise,” said Starr. “Yeah I came home and it was actually night and they had a light fixed on it shining.”

He planned on cutting the tree down last weekend, but said his house got broken into and forced him to back away from that plan.

The city of Tempe has told him the stump must come down by Wednesday. Starr said it will come down even before that, by this weekend.

He said he’s putting it up on eBay and plans to donate the proceeds to charity.

“If you have nerves enough, I’d like you to take a picture of it and put it on TV so everyone in the Valley can see it,” said a man across the street.

Courtesy ABC15.com: Television, United States

Ooops

According to GossipCop, Parker intended to point her fans to husband basketball player Tony Parker’s page, but instead directed them to a porn site.

She apparently forgot to include the number nine in the address and urged people to sign up for updates from tpnetwork, which belongs to Titanium Porn Network.

On realizing her mistake, she tweeted, “Oh, nooo! I put the wrong twitter site for my husband. It’s @tp9network. The one I put earlier goes to some porn site!!! Don’t use it!”

Courtesy XBizNewsWire.com

Don't need the body scanner for this guy

Police were quickly on the scene, bundled Greene into a bathrobe and took him in to custody.

A folding knife was later found in the clothes which he had earlier abandoned.

Greene told police he was bipolar and off his medication.

Police said he has been charged with reckless endangerment for his driving and disorderly conduct and indecent exposure for his actions inside the terminal.

It was the first image that came up on the search string “Boobs of Mass Destruction”

LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM-– Agents for Britain’s MI5 intelligence service have discovered that Muslim doctors trained at some of Britain’s leading teaching hospitals have returned to their own countries to fit surgical implants filled with explosives, according to a report from Joseph Farah’s G2 Bulletin.

Women suicide bombers recruited by al-Qaida are known to have had the explosives inserted in their breasts under techniques similar to breast enhancing surgery. The lethal explosives – usually PETN (pentaerythritol Tetrabitrate) – are inserted during the operation inside the plastic shapes. The breast is then sewn up.

Similar surgery has been performed on male suicide bombers. In their cases, the explosives are inserted in the appendix area or in a buttock. Both are parts of the body that diabetics use to inject themselves with their prescribed drugs.

The discovery of these methods was made after the London-educated Nigerian Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab came close to blowing up an airliner on Christmas Day with explosives he had stuffed inside his underpants.

Courtesy of Fox News

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA – So you’re sitting at your desk, plodding away at whatever sort of drudgery the day has dropped in your lap, when your email alarm goes off. It’s from Phil on the third floor and it says, “Check out this hottie!” The day is long and you’re desperately bored, so you do. The young lady in the attached photo is smokin’ indeed, so after taking a moment to admire it you cast a conspiratorial whisper toward the cubicle next to yours. “Dave,” you say, “check out what Phil just sent me.”

And then Dave leans over, has a look and says, “Dude, you’re on television.”

That’s how a bad day gets started in a hurry, and it’s also exactly what happened to an employee at Macquarie Bank in Australia. The unlucky fellow picked a really, really bad time to check his email and pop open a NSFW attachment: While Macquarie private wealth adviser Martin Lakos was being interviewed live by Australia’s Seven News about the decision of the Reserve Bank to hold the line on interest rates, directly behind him.

The bank, of course, is less than happy. “Macquarie takes matters such as the unacceptable use of technology extremely seriously,” it said in a statement. “Macquarie has strict policies in place surrounding the use of technology and the issue arising from today’s live cross on 7 News is being dealt with internally.”

Making it even more perfect, the poor guy actually turned around to face the camera when he realized what was happening, giving the whole world a good look at him. I bet somebody’s mom is real proud tonight.

Courtesy The Escapist

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Sure to be a YouTube classic, this vet–educated in the masturbatory arts–explains the ins and outs of elephant ejaculation.

Dapper Dick creator Noelle McIlwaine (left) with Pirate Hardwood and life-sized prototype (right) Photo: Joe Brown

“Let’s face it, girls like to play dress-up,” says Noelle McIlwaine, who is debuting Dapper Dicks, her first line of cock-couture at this year’s Adult Entertainment Expo. “So if you give us something to play with, and something to laugh about, you’re gonna get laid! I mean it’s a 99-percent chance that it’s gonna happen.”

It all started when her husband came home from work one evening, and he wanted to get it on.

“And I told him the whole ‘I’ll take care of later’ thing. Hey, girls get tired! I’m a mom of five, and I have a full-career (she’s from Bible-Belt Atlanta, and already has made a sale to a pastor’s wife).

McIllwaine’s husband walked away and reappeared — sporting a toilet-paper roll crowned with a little lion head.

He was trying to entice her into bed? With a leonine love muscle?

“He was,” she confirms. “And he scored. And that’s how Dapper Dicks was born.”

“Some guys just need a little more help, you know what I mean?” says McIlwaine, one of many erotica entrepreneurs on the periphery of the AEE exhibit hall. “Our job is to put these outfits together for the guys, so they can entice their wives or girlfriends or others, to get into the whole roleplay thing. Because guys really don’t have anything! They’ve got elephant underwear, and that’s it.”

So McIlwaine came up with a series of appendage apparel: shake hands with Stroker the Cowboy, Pirate Hardwood, pinstriped Dapper Dick, Private Willy (“sports his fatigues standing at full attention waiting for orders”), Fireman Rick and Dr. Dick Longellow. Complete with hats and appropriate accessories, they’ll run you $35-$45.

“What about sizing?,” I hear the reader wonder.

“One size fits all,” says McIlwaine. “I made sure there was a Spandex interior, that way it’s really smooth going on and off, because some guys are really sensitive.”

So it fits the all-American, and it also expands to Man-O’-Beef.

Still, there’s always gonna be that one guy who insists the genital get-up is too small for him…

McIlwaine says she’s sitting on 200 more ideas for future costumes. Coming soon: “Animal Kingdom,” “Tasty Snacks,” and a “Hollywood Boneyard” series, with Captain Prickhard and Dark Invader. Imagine what she could do with “Twilight.” Or “Avatar.” Or “Titanic”…

“Relationships need to sparked and spontaneity needs to be kept going,” McIlwaine says. “I figure if I can add one marriage by adding the spark back into it, I’ve done my job.”

Courtesy Las Vegas Weekly

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It's a bird! It's a plane! No! It's Superdick!

NEW YORK, NEW YORK–Drawers and jaws were dropping all over town Sunday, just as fast as the bitter winter temperatures.

It was the ninth annual No-Pants Day on the city subway and practical jokers of all shapes, sizes, and underwear types joined in the gag.

Passengers who didn’t know about the tradition were stunned. Some giggled and others stared. (Video and gallery after the jump.)

“I thought something was up when I saw a Speedo on the platform,” said Sandi Rabinowitz, 63, riding uptown on the 6 train. “It makes people laugh it’s good. That’s it. I’m taking my bra off!”

The crowds of mostly young people met at Foley Square and at other points in Queens and Brooklyn Sunday afternoon, organized by a group called y Improv Everywhere.

In small groups they began taking their pants off, until pant-less riders outnumbered shocked riders in some cars.

“I want to take a picture of you, but my boyfriend would kill me if he finds a photo of you here,” said Amy Ragone, 33, staring at Jonathan Sanders, a 24-year-old Staten Island man wearing a t-shirt, light sweater and black tighties.

“I woke up this morning and sensed it was going to be a good day for not wearing pants,” Sanders offered. “Hey, I look good like this.”

Andrea Fish, 54, from the Upper West Side, was in a hurry, until she stopped dead in on her tracks at the sight of several men and women sporting their boxers and panties waiting for a train.

“What’s going on?” Fish asked herself. “I thought they were together. But they are not even talking to each other. This is very strange.”

At the 59th street 6 train stop, Chris Scott, 27, from Manhattan decided to address the curious onlookers.

“Ladies and gentlemen. I’m not homeless. I’m not hungry. I just need a decent pair of pants,” he said to both laughter and eye-rolling.

The pant-less pranksters ended up in Union Square, where self-proclaimed pants fanatic Melina Davis, 21, of Harlem welcomed them with posters that read “God Wears Pants!”

“I love pants and I love God,” she shouted at the semi-naked crowds.

Davis, who was actually in on the joke and just mocking fanatics, continued: “This is not a good look. People look at your cellulite. Put some pants on!”

Davis’ friend, Laura Baum, 21, patted her friend on the shoulder and pointed at a good looking man wearing a security-guard shirt and underwear only.

“Another one with no pants,” Baum said, trying to sound shocked.

Davis looked at him and approved of what she saw saying: “Ooooohh.”

She quickly shook her head, bringing herself back to her own senses and yelled at him: “Go on and put some pants on already.”

Courtesy of New York Daily News

Credit: a loves dc | Flickr.com / Creative Commons License

The Metro reports that the unidentified man, 40, showed up at Southampton General Hospital in the UK where doctors were unable to remove the pipe. So they called the Hampshire Fire and Rescue Service who safely cut the pipe off using a grinder in what a spokesman said was a “delicate operation.”

Hospital staff said the man never explained how the accident happened. The fire and rescue spokesman told the Metro, “It’s certainly an unusual call-out, and I’m sure the man won’t be getting into that situation again.”

Last August a man was killed after his wife allegedly set his genitals on fire.

Courtesy MyFoxBoston.com: Television, United States

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