“I've only been with 11,000 women, give or take a few hundred. I promise.”

A new biography of the film star Warren Beatty claims that he has been to bed with 12,775 women. The author adds, usefully, that the figure ‘does not include daytime quickies, drive-bys, casual gropings, stolen kisses and so on’.

Some people may need a little help to picture 12,775 different women.

The total population of Beaconsfield is 10,679, which means that Warren Beatty would have had to sleep with every single person in Beaconsfield, and even then he would have to pop in on a number of outlying villages before he had met his obligations and clocked up the remaining 2,096.

But even this is an underestimate, as Beatty insists that he sleeps only with women. To achieve a more accurate picture, we would have to look for a town with double the number of inhabitants.

With a population of 17,000, Dorking in Surrey is a little on the small side, but if you include nearby Leatherhead (9,685), then you get a figure of 26,685, which is just about right.

Of course, some pedants might argue that these figures include children, and if you take them out of the equation you’d have to look to a larger town like Windsor, with its population of 32,000 or so, before you would arrive at the requisite number of adult women.

It’s all getting a little out of hand. Not long ago, Simon Cowell claimed to have been to bed with ‘between 70 and 100 women, if I were to hazard a guess’, which left many people gasping, not least those who were surprised that he’d been to bed with any woman at all.

Twenty-five years ago Tony Blackburn (‘Sex is very important to me; I adore making love’) claimed in his autobiography that ‘I’ve made love to about 250 women’. Many readers shook their heads in disbelief.

Yet Blackburn’s tally was knocked into a cocked hat by the Romanian tennis player Ilie Nastase, who claimed in his autobiography, Mr Nasty, ‘I’ve slept with 2,500 women,’ before adding, somewhat ungallantly: ‘Sex in those days was like taking a daily shower – you take one, it feels nice, then you forget it.’

Cowell, Blackburn and Nastase were all outboasted by the great Belgian detective writer Georges Simenon, who in 1977 claimed: ‘I did the sum a year or two ago, and, since the age of thirteen-and-a-half, I have had 10,000 women.’

Frankly, it’s all in danger of becoming a branch of Higher Mathematics. And now Warren Beatty has trumped the lot of them, with 2,775 women more than his closest rival. Was ever a man more appropriately christened than Warren?

Anyway, it’s important not to get bogged down in numbers. By now, many men will be wondering exactly how he does it. How, they will ask, could one man sweet-talk his way through every single woman in Dorking and Leatherhead?

Strange to relate, front-line reports from Beatty’s former lovers suggest that he favours a rather dated, Austin Powers approach. In her autobiography, Joan Collins recalls him saying ‘What’s new, pussycat?’ while one of his more recent loves, Madonna, claims that he pestered her for two weeks before she finally allowed him to kiss her.

‘He kissed her on the doorstep, after he dropped her off,’ records her biographer. ‘ “Houston,” he reportedly said, after kissing her, “we have lift-off.” ‘

One might have thought that ‘What’s new, pussycat?’ and ‘Houston, we have lift-off ‘ were the worst chat-up lines known to man, but I suppose it all depends on who is doing the chatting-up. To pick a name at random, it is hard to imagine the clinically obese Radio 1 disc-jockey Chris Moyles saying ‘Houston, we have lift-off’ to a woman and receiving anything other than a smack in the chops.

Woody Allen once said that if he believed in reincarnation, he would like to come back as Warren Beatty’s fingertips.

Certainly, there is something-very enviable about his long list of girlfriends, which includes not only Madonna but Brigitte Bardot, Britt Ekland, Jane Fonda and Bianca Jagger.

And, by and large, Beatty seems to have left his girlfriends contented. ‘He could handle a woman like a lift,’ wrote Britt Ekland in her autobiography. ‘He knew exactly where to locate the top button. One flick and we were on our way.’

It is a curiously unsexy metaphor, but one that is perhaps more accurate than intended. There is something of the old-fashioned lift-operator about the dogged Beatty, so that one half-expects him to wear a commissionaire’s uniform, complete with shiny badge.

In the Eighties, a witty reference book called Who’s Had Who linked him to the Duchess of Windsor in ten easy steps (Beatty – Natalie Wood – Robert Wagner – Jill St John – Frank Sinatra – Marilyn Monroe – Orson Welles – Rita Hayworth – Aly Khan – Thelma Furness – Duke of Windsor – Duchess of Windsor). And this, too, reads eerily like the floor-guide in a department-store lift.

Courtesy of The Daily Mail UK

The interviewer neglected to ask whether or not his penis put on its little white hood before sex.

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – Singer John Mayer is giving true meaning to the text messaging term T.M.I. (too much information) as his recent interview with Playboy magazine hit the internet today, exposing his love for porn, his penis being a white supremacist and how sex with Jessica Simpson is like being on crack cocaine.

The “Your Body Is A Wonderland” singer also discussed his love for actress Jennifer Aniston, how he enjoys teen sensation Miley Cyrus’ music and how he gets a ‘hood pass’ from African Americans.

Known for his off-color sense of humor, Mayer’s Lagavulin scotch-infused conversation with Playboy contributing editor Rob Tannebaum has already sparked controversy on the internet -including his beloved rant-platform Twitter where he has 3 million followers- leading many to question if the 32-year-old singer is racist. (Or maybe he shouldn’t talk while drinking?)

Here are a few excerpts (WARNING: Some of the material isn’t suitable for readers under 18)

On his love of porn:
When I watch porn, if it’s not hot enough, I’ll make up backstories in my mind. My biggest dream is to write pornography.

On Jennifer Aniston:
We just have a regard for each other’s feelings that is pretty intense. It’s been a deep relationship, and it’s no longer taking place at all. Have you ever loved somebody, loved her completely, but had to end the relationship for life reasons? … I’ll always be sorry that it didn’t last. In some ways I wish I could be with her. But I can’t change the fact that I need to be 32.

On his relationship with Jessica Simpson:
That girl, for me, is a drug. And drugs aren’t good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me… Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm… There are people in the world who have the power to change our values. Have you ever been with a girl who made you want to quit the rest of your life? Did you ever say, “I want to quit my life and just f*ckin’ snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to f*ck you, I would start selling all my sh*t just to keep f*cking you.”

PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?

MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My d*ck is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a f*ckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my d*ck.

PLAYBOY: Let’s put some names out there. Let’s get specific.

MAYER: I always thought Holly Robinson Peete was gorgeous. Every white dude loved Hilary from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And Kerry Washington. She’s superhot, and she’s also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, “Yeah, I sucked his d*ck. Whatever.” And you’d be like, “What? We weren’t talking about that.” That’s what “Heartbreak Warfare” is all about, when a girl uses jealousy as a tactic.

For the complete interview, click here. Very interesting.

Courtesy Examiner.com

Ooops

According to GossipCop, Parker intended to point her fans to husband basketball player Tony Parker’s page, but instead directed them to a porn site.

She apparently forgot to include the number nine in the address and urged people to sign up for updates from tpnetwork, which belongs to Titanium Porn Network.

On realizing her mistake, she tweeted, “Oh, nooo! I put the wrong twitter site for my husband. It’s @tp9network. The one I put earlier goes to some porn site!!! Don’t use it!”

Courtesy XBizNewsWire.com

Tiger's Balls

She feels the spoof product promotes violence against women.

“I’ve come forward today because I feel it is wrong for a golf ball to have my picture on it,” she told television station KSBW. “As a victim of violence myself, it bothered me to think that someone would be standing with a dangerous club in their hands and hitting a ball with my face on it.”

The “Tail Of The Tiger Golf Ball Gift Set” features a dozen golf balls, each showcasing the name and image of one woman linked to the married championship golfer.

So far the idea is a hit, according to creator Mike Caldwell, who told the New York Daily News he sold $45,000 worth in one day.

James, 32, whose real name is Veronica Siwik-Daniels, has appeared in adult movies such as Porn Star Brides.

As previously reported on Crimesider, she has also struggled with the law.

Siwik-Daniels is wanted in Washington State for unpaid child support that totals more than $12,000, according to Washington State’s Department of Social and Health Services Most Wanted List.

Courtesy CBSNews.com: Television, United States

Jolie — who is openly bisexual — and GaGa — a rumored hermaphrodite — had a secret rendez vous at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel that lasted all night, Halperin alleges.

“Angie is obsessed with Lady Gaga,” a source said.

It’s not the first time Jolie has been accused of cheating on Pitt.

Earlier this week, In Touch Weekly magazine spoke to Anna Kowalski — a housekeeper who worked extensively with the family on their numerous visits to the Waldorf-Astoria in New York — who claimed Angelina had a series of steamy sex sessions with one of the dialect coaches she worked with on the set of her movie Salt.

Kowalski claimed she walked into Jolie’s room and saw Jolie’s bed strewn with sex toys.

“The room was a disaster,” Anna revealed. “There was water all over the bathroom and empty vodka bottles everywhere. Every towel had been used. And over five dozen cattleya orchids were scattered around the room, and there were the tops of the flowers in the tub, with candles.

“The bed was covered with black rubber sheets, and there were sex toys on it.”

Anna said that what she saw left her with little doubt that the actress and the tutor were having an affair.

Jolie has previously spoken of her desire to have an open relationship.

Courtesy ShowBizSpy.com

Jennifer Hawkins in all her naked glory

AUSTRALIA– Miss Universe 2004 and model Jennifer Hawkins agreed to pose nude and un-airbrushed on the cover of February’s Australian Marie Claire, but some are slamming the magazine’s anti-Photoshopping efforts, claiming Hawkins does not represent real women.

Editor Jackie Frank told The Australian that the images were inspired by a survey of 5500 readers, which showed that only 12 percent of women were truly happy with their bodies. Marie Claire put Hawkins on the cover to make a positive statement about body image and the photographs of Hawkins will be auctioned later this month, with the proceeds donated to the Butterfly Foundation, an eating disorders support group.

In the interview, Hawkins says, “I’m not a stick figure–I thought it would be great to tell women to just be themselves and be confident.”

But the cover sparked an outcry from Marie Claire readers such as “She wants to make [women] feel more comfortable about how they look, gee thanks, I now feel worse! I’m a size 10 and I still have more rolls than her!” and “If anything is going to have me running to the toilet with my finger down my throat it’s a picture of Jennifer Hawkins naked.”

The Butterfly Foundation’s general manager Julie Parker pointed out Hawkins flaws, including her dimpled thigh, creased waist and skin-tone changes. Parker told The Age that photographing an average Australian woman wouldn’t have worked.

“The thing is unfortunately it doesn’t make the same point, because Jennifer sells magazines and she creates awareness. If ‘Marie Claire’ had chosen to put on their cover an ordinary women, say myself or a friend of yours, it would not have created the awareness it does.”

Courtesy of Huffington Post

Sam Worthington

The Aussie actor happened to be wearing nothing but a g-string, fake animal ears and a felt tale.

Sam said: “The guy rocked up and said ‘What are you doing?’

“I assured him it was a proper movie but when he didn’t seem convinced I pointed out that the guy filming me was the famous director JAMES CAMERON.

“The guy looked over, saw Jim’s rudimentary camera, looked back at me in the ears, tail and g-string the director had given me to wear and said ‘Well, he’s come down in the world since Titanic.”

Courtesy The Sun: United Kingdom

Got moobs?

Jeremy Piven leaves Broadway show on doctor’s orders

“I was the guy that dabbled in soy milk, but now I’ve found out soy milk has enough estrogen for me to grow breasts,” Piven told Scottish STV. “I had to put the soy milk down. It was a very confusing time.”

Consumer and nutritional sciences expert Jill Hamilton-Reeves told AOL that she learned the 44-year-old Entourage actor was drinking 12 cups (about three-quarters of a gallon) of soy milk a day. “That means he was taking in approximately 360 milligrams of isoflavones a day,” Hamilton-Reeves said. “And isoflavones are what people generally believe to be responsible for any effects in male reproductive hormones.”

Perhaps someone needs a lesson in moderation.

Courtesy SeattlePI.com

McCain clearly has plenty of support

McCain, the daughter of former presidential candidate John McCain, has more than 60,000 followers, meaning that when she posted the pic of her scantily covered body, the web was instantly abuzz.

As one may guess, the gossip that has been swirling about the pic is of the negative variety, prompting this response from Meghan: “So I took a fun picture not thinking anything about what I was wearing but apparently anything other than a pantsuit I am a slut,” she wrote, later adding “I can’t even tell you how hurt I am.”

She also threatened to quit Twitter for good because of the backlash she has received from the pic.

“Why I have been considering deleting my twitter account, what once was fun now just seems like a vessel for harassment,” she added.

Hmmm I wonder if I posted a similarly ronchy pic on my Twitter page if I would get a similar response?

Courtesy DBTechno.com

The lawsuit, filed in L.A. County Superior Court by a woman named Crystal Matchett, is basically the same as the one filed by Shirley Dieu last week — with one exception … Crystal never accuses Dr. Phil of grabbing her boob.

Crystal alleges Phil brainwashed her, exposed her to the naked man and then prevented her from leaving Phil’s production office — the same location where Shirley also claims the weirdness went down.

Phil claimed the last lawsuit was “without merit” — we’re assuming the same statement applies here.