Crimes & Lawsuits

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Flashback … Lynne Tziolas and her husband and, inset, that magazine cover.

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA – A Sydney teacher sacked for posing nude in Cleo magazine has said she will probably never return to teaching after a battle to get her job back failed, and plans to sue the State Government for damages for the affect the fight has had on her mental health.

Lynne Tziolas, 24, said she had suffered debilitating anxiety throughout her ordeal with the NSW Education Department, which has left her dependant on prescription medication. The former Narraweena Public School teacher said she feared she was heading for a total mental breakdown before she decided to take action.

“I’d had enough,” she said today. “My health at the moment is quite unstable and I’m finding that I’m needing to seek professional help.” Read the rest of this entry »

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It’s Mmm Mmm good. In the interest of the common good and to prevent stealing, we here thought we would provide this simple recipe.

COLUMBUS, OHIO – A convicted sex offender who admitted having a fetish for collecting and drinking young boys’ urine must remain on house arrest until his upcoming trial, a judge ordered on Tuesday.

Under the judge’s new bond conditions, Allan Patton is only allowed to leave his home once a week with a probation officer, 10TV News reported.

Patton, 56, must also wear a GPS device and stay away from any bathrooms where children may gather, 10TV news reported.

Late last week, police escorted Patton out of the Hilliard West Municipal Pool, located on Veterans Memorial Parkway.

The incident in Hilliard came a few weeks after Patton was accused of hiding inside public restrooms at Dublin’s Sports Ohio, located on Cosgray Road. Read the rest of this entry »

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SAGINAW, MICHIGAN – The Michigan Court of Appeals has refused to hear the appeal of Ronald E. Kuch, who was convicted last year of sodomy after he was found having sexual relations with a dead dog. Read the rest of this entry »

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We’d ask this dancer if she’d perform on a moving train, but we assume that pole dancers just consider the grinding and jolting a hazard of the job.

SANTIAGO, CHILE – A pole dancer who took her writhing spins where they had never been — onto a pole inside a train car — perked up the morning commuters.

But her underground career was cut tragically short.

Monserrat Morilles, 26, for the past few days had been walking into a subway car dressed in a leather coat and black boots, then start slowly stripping in front of surprised and then enthralled commuters in Chile’s capital.

But her desire to share, perhaps too much, was unceremoniously squelched on Thursday when 15 security guards stopped her shimmying and wrestled her out of the metro and was promptly arrested. Read the rest of this entry »

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EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND – A teenager who took underwear from a house occupied by two women left a trail of stolen items as he tried to escape a boyfriend of one of them.

At Edinburgh Sheriff Court yesterday John Forrest, 18, of Penicuik, was sent to a young offenders institution for three months.

Courtesy Scotsman

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“Doggie Style” is NOT an invitation!

BATON ROUGE, LOUISIANA – While attempting to serve a warrant to a 46-year-old sex offender Wednesday, U.S. marshals stumbled upon the man having sex with one of his dogs in his backyard, an affidavit says.

A team of U.S. marshals had surrounded the house at 9425 Tracy Ave. to ensure that Alex Chaney could not escape while they attempted to serve him with a warrant for failure to register as a sex offender, the affidavit says. Read the rest of this entry »

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Old Lady
This is totally not Gonzalez, or a hooker.
Photo: Time and Life Pictures/Getty Images

NEW YORK, NEW YORK – Monica Gonzalez may be an asthmatic grandmother of two. But she doesn’t look like one, okay? So maybe she still shows a little skin and she flaunts it because, after all, she has totally still got it. And maybe that’s what she was doing when she was walking down Third Avenue between 53rd and 54th streets last fall, on her way to the emergency room at Lutheran Medical Center for a new container of asthma medication. Which is when Officer Sean Spencer suddenly decided to arrest her for prostitution. According to the Daily News. Read the rest of this entry »

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STILL frame
We’re reasonably sure this doesn’t need explanation.

NEW YORK, NEW YORK – The Ashley Dupre sex tape has been made available for everyone to see, or at least one of them possibly.

The video is of the former Eliot Spitzer call-girl going wild trying to rub one out in a steamy masturbation session.

“We have hours of footage of Dupre including her in some very interesting sexual situations,” Joe Francis recently said.

Dupre, 22, and Francis had been involved in litigation over some kind of sex footage, but she dropped the $10 million lawsuit two weeks ago. Read the rest of this entry »

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Not one of the nude volley-ballers in question.
This volleyballer can spike our balls anytime.

LUFKIN, TEXAS – Officers responding to a noise complaint at 2 a.m. Sunday at the Shadow Creek apartments in the 2800 block of Daniel McCall Drive, found a naked group of 10 adults playing volleyball in the pool, a police report stated.

Christie Orr, 32, and Steven Evans, 40, were both arrested at the scene for public intoxication and several other members of the nude party received tickets for criminal trespassing and were let go.

Courtesy Lufkin Daily News

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“You can’t touch these breasts if you put your lips to those!” Actually, we have no idea what being topless had to do with it… KFC girls: Ashley Fruno and Fawn Porter. Photo: Adam Hollingworth

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA – The good folk at People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals could not wait for today’s Federal Court decision on the constitutionality of World Youth Day regulations preventing pilgrims from being annoyed.

Taping their nipples for decorum, three women from PETA stripped down to their knickers and climbed inside a cage to annoy passers-by by protesting outside the KFC in George Street. Read the rest of this entry »

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