“I've only been with 11,000 women, give or take a few hundred. I promise.”

A new biography of the film star Warren Beatty claims that he has been to bed with 12,775 women. The author adds, usefully, that the figure ‘does not include daytime quickies, drive-bys, casual gropings, stolen kisses and so on’.

Some people may need a little help to picture 12,775 different women.

The total population of Beaconsfield is 10,679, which means that Warren Beatty would have had to sleep with every single person in Beaconsfield, and even then he would have to pop in on a number of outlying villages before he had met his obligations and clocked up the remaining 2,096.

But even this is an underestimate, as Beatty insists that he sleeps only with women. To achieve a more accurate picture, we would have to look for a town with double the number of inhabitants.

With a population of 17,000, Dorking in Surrey is a little on the small side, but if you include nearby Leatherhead (9,685), then you get a figure of 26,685, which is just about right.

Of course, some pedants might argue that these figures include children, and if you take them out of the equation you’d have to look to a larger town like Windsor, with its population of 32,000 or so, before you would arrive at the requisite number of adult women.

It’s all getting a little out of hand. Not long ago, Simon Cowell claimed to have been to bed with ‘between 70 and 100 women, if I were to hazard a guess’, which left many people gasping, not least those who were surprised that he’d been to bed with any woman at all.

Twenty-five years ago Tony Blackburn (‘Sex is very important to me; I adore making love’) claimed in his autobiography that ‘I’ve made love to about 250 women’. Many readers shook their heads in disbelief.

Yet Blackburn’s tally was knocked into a cocked hat by the Romanian tennis player Ilie Nastase, who claimed in his autobiography, Mr Nasty, ‘I’ve slept with 2,500 women,’ before adding, somewhat ungallantly: ‘Sex in those days was like taking a daily shower – you take one, it feels nice, then you forget it.’

Cowell, Blackburn and Nastase were all outboasted by the great Belgian detective writer Georges Simenon, who in 1977 claimed: ‘I did the sum a year or two ago, and, since the age of thirteen-and-a-half, I have had 10,000 women.’

Frankly, it’s all in danger of becoming a branch of Higher Mathematics. And now Warren Beatty has trumped the lot of them, with 2,775 women more than his closest rival. Was ever a man more appropriately christened than Warren?

Anyway, it’s important not to get bogged down in numbers. By now, many men will be wondering exactly how he does it. How, they will ask, could one man sweet-talk his way through every single woman in Dorking and Leatherhead?

Strange to relate, front-line reports from Beatty’s former lovers suggest that he favours a rather dated, Austin Powers approach. In her autobiography, Joan Collins recalls him saying ‘What’s new, pussycat?’ while one of his more recent loves, Madonna, claims that he pestered her for two weeks before she finally allowed him to kiss her.

‘He kissed her on the doorstep, after he dropped her off,’ records her biographer. ‘ “Houston,” he reportedly said, after kissing her, “we have lift-off.” ‘

One might have thought that ‘What’s new, pussycat?’ and ‘Houston, we have lift-off ‘ were the worst chat-up lines known to man, but I suppose it all depends on who is doing the chatting-up. To pick a name at random, it is hard to imagine the clinically obese Radio 1 disc-jockey Chris Moyles saying ‘Houston, we have lift-off’ to a woman and receiving anything other than a smack in the chops.

Woody Allen once said that if he believed in reincarnation, he would like to come back as Warren Beatty’s fingertips.

Certainly, there is something-very enviable about his long list of girlfriends, which includes not only Madonna but Brigitte Bardot, Britt Ekland, Jane Fonda and Bianca Jagger.

And, by and large, Beatty seems to have left his girlfriends contented. ‘He could handle a woman like a lift,’ wrote Britt Ekland in her autobiography. ‘He knew exactly where to locate the top button. One flick and we were on our way.’

It is a curiously unsexy metaphor, but one that is perhaps more accurate than intended. There is something of the old-fashioned lift-operator about the dogged Beatty, so that one half-expects him to wear a commissionaire’s uniform, complete with shiny badge.

In the Eighties, a witty reference book called Who’s Had Who linked him to the Duchess of Windsor in ten easy steps (Beatty – Natalie Wood – Robert Wagner – Jill St John – Frank Sinatra – Marilyn Monroe – Orson Welles – Rita Hayworth – Aly Khan – Thelma Furness – Duke of Windsor – Duchess of Windsor). And this, too, reads eerily like the floor-guide in a department-store lift.

Courtesy of The Daily Mail UK

The bespectacled man, who is around 40, repeatedly sneaked up behind a 20-year-old employee on consecutive weekends.

CCTV footage shows the 5ft 9in balding ginger weirdo pretending to pick items off shelves before crouching behind the shelf stacker.

With his face near his victim’s bum, he seemed to be taking a sniff – and once got so close his nose touched the man.

The unnamed Co-op worker, of Plymouth, Devon, said: “I thought it was all a bit strange. I was shocked and couldn’t believe he was in the aisle for that long.”

Cops are asking for witnesses to the October 31 and November 7 attacks.

Det Con Steve White said: “It’s a bizarre incident. The shop was full of people. Someone must have seen the man.”

Courtesy of The Sun UK

The place for live nude entrepreneurs.

SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA– When dancers at San Francisco’s Lusty Lady turned the exotic club into an egalitarian co-op, they found it tough to reconcile their lofty ideals with the aesthetic realities of the sex trade.

One of the first things the dancers did was to toss out rules about maintaining the same body type as the day they were hired, and ones regarding height-weight proportion. A list of acceptable hair colors was scrapped, along with a policy regulating the quantity and location of tattoos.

Now, larger dancers and those who might not be stereotypically “pretty” are welcome on the Lusty stage, but this emphasis on inclusion has brought difficulties for the 60 or so dancer-owners.

It all seemed so simple when they bought the dive.

Lilah Mayhem is pale with long dark hair and a thin frame, while Cinnamon Rose has shorter, red-streaked hair and a darker complexion. Wendy works the stage in striped pink knee socks and glasses, while another dancer wears old wedge sandals and a cheerfully curling brown wig. Many sport multiple piercings and tattoos.

After buying the club for $400,000 in 2003, the next step was to put themselves through guerilla business school.

The Lusties, as they call themselves, enlisted the help of other local co-ops such as Rainbow Grocery and Good Vibrations, a local female-run sex-toy shop.

They learned the ins and outs of running a collective business and hammered out articles of incorporation within days.

That's better.

All new proposals, from bylaw modifications down to buying new carpets, would need approval from general co-op membership and the board of directors. Every worker, whether support staff or performer, had the right to submit a proposal, and decisions would be made by majority vote via paper ballot.

But the theater’s mission statement, which seeks to break down hierarchy, made the creation and enforcement of managerial policies difficult.

“It’s hard, because we’d elect people to enforce our performance standards, but we hadn’t yet decided on what those are,” said former dancer Lili Marlene, who was involved in the transition. “Hygiene rules are easier.”

Dancers learned how to take disciplinary action against each other via new policies such as peer-based performance reviews. Each week performers evaluate their onstage colleagues, considering general appearances, customer interaction, and levels of eye contact.

The first years of self-governance were the most difficult.

“On a good day, it’s like Peter Pan,” said Lili Marlene. “On a bad day, it was like Lord of the Flies. We can do whatever we want, and there’s nobody to tell us what to do.”

Courtesy of Reuters

It was the first image that came up on the search string “Boobs of Mass Destruction”

LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM-– Agents for Britain’s MI5 intelligence service have discovered that Muslim doctors trained at some of Britain’s leading teaching hospitals have returned to their own countries to fit surgical implants filled with explosives, according to a report from Joseph Farah’s G2 Bulletin.

Women suicide bombers recruited by al-Qaida are known to have had the explosives inserted in their breasts under techniques similar to breast enhancing surgery. The lethal explosives – usually PETN (pentaerythritol Tetrabitrate) – are inserted during the operation inside the plastic shapes. The breast is then sewn up.

Similar surgery has been performed on male suicide bombers. In their cases, the explosives are inserted in the appendix area or in a buttock. Both are parts of the body that diabetics use to inject themselves with their prescribed drugs.

The discovery of these methods was made after the London-educated Nigerian Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab came close to blowing up an airliner on Christmas Day with explosives he had stuffed inside his underpants.

Courtesy of Fox News

It's a bird! It's a plane! No! It's Superdick!

NEW YORK, NEW YORK–Drawers and jaws were dropping all over town Sunday, just as fast as the bitter winter temperatures.

It was the ninth annual No-Pants Day on the city subway and practical jokers of all shapes, sizes, and underwear types joined in the gag.

Passengers who didn’t know about the tradition were stunned. Some giggled and others stared. (Video and gallery after the jump.)

“I thought something was up when I saw a Speedo on the platform,” said Sandi Rabinowitz, 63, riding uptown on the 6 train. “It makes people laugh it’s good. That’s it. I’m taking my bra off!”

The crowds of mostly young people met at Foley Square and at other points in Queens and Brooklyn Sunday afternoon, organized by a group called y Improv Everywhere.

In small groups they began taking their pants off, until pant-less riders outnumbered shocked riders in some cars.

“I want to take a picture of you, but my boyfriend would kill me if he finds a photo of you here,” said Amy Ragone, 33, staring at Jonathan Sanders, a 24-year-old Staten Island man wearing a t-shirt, light sweater and black tighties.

“I woke up this morning and sensed it was going to be a good day for not wearing pants,” Sanders offered. “Hey, I look good like this.”

Andrea Fish, 54, from the Upper West Side, was in a hurry, until she stopped dead in on her tracks at the sight of several men and women sporting their boxers and panties waiting for a train.

“What’s going on?” Fish asked herself. “I thought they were together. But they are not even talking to each other. This is very strange.”

At the 59th street 6 train stop, Chris Scott, 27, from Manhattan decided to address the curious onlookers.

“Ladies and gentlemen. I’m not homeless. I’m not hungry. I just need a decent pair of pants,” he said to both laughter and eye-rolling.

The pant-less pranksters ended up in Union Square, where self-proclaimed pants fanatic Melina Davis, 21, of Harlem welcomed them with posters that read “God Wears Pants!”

“I love pants and I love God,” she shouted at the semi-naked crowds.

Davis, who was actually in on the joke and just mocking fanatics, continued: “This is not a good look. People look at your cellulite. Put some pants on!”

Davis’ friend, Laura Baum, 21, patted her friend on the shoulder and pointed at a good looking man wearing a security-guard shirt and underwear only.

“Another one with no pants,” Baum said, trying to sound shocked.

Davis looked at him and approved of what she saw saying: “Ooooohh.”

She quickly shook her head, bringing herself back to her own senses and yelled at him: “Go on and put some pants on already.”

Courtesy of New York Daily News

“Hey, big boy, how'd you like to oil my gears?”

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA– Men have often dreamed it, but it hasn’t become a reality until today: the sex robot. Developed by Douglas Hines of True Companion, an electrical engineer and computer scientist who formerly worked in the artificial intelligence lab at AT&T Bell Laboratories. Roxxxy, the sexy bot, is a completely anatomically correct and customizable companion (from features to hair color) that exhibits different personalities and responds to touch. (Gallery and video after the jump)

Depending on your mood, you can assign the robot different personalities such as Frigid Farrah or Mature Martha, who will respond differently based on the personality you choose. For example, if you hold Mature Martha’s hand, she may say “I love holding hands,” whereas if you touch Frigid Farrah she may say “What are you going to do with that hand?”

The coolest part about the robot is that you can build your own custom personality based on your preference or tweak an existing personality. Once members of the site develop a personality that they really like, they can share it with your friends on True Companion’s website. The website sync also makes the robot compatible for updates and new features or sexy quirks such as a robot that responds to a S&M safety word. More like a social networking site, the site will have a monthly fee.

The 2 1/2 year project was estimated to cost around 1 million dollars and the robot itself will cost from $7,000 to $9,000 depending on the level of customization you choose. New robots are in the works that will build upon this internal computing model and incorporate more movement. The male version, Rocky, available as a gay robot or a heterosexual robot is currently being developed.

True Companion claims that the robot isn’t solely used for sex but is rather a life partner or mate for those who can’t find or don’t want the real thing. According to True Companion’s Web site, she “can carry on a discussion and expresses her love to you and be your loving friend. She can talk to you, listen to you and feel your touch.” Well, Roxxxy certainly won’t make you put the seat down.

Courtesy of 69adget.com

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Jennifer Hawkins in all her naked glory

AUSTRALIA– Miss Universe 2004 and model Jennifer Hawkins agreed to pose nude and un-airbrushed on the cover of February’s Australian Marie Claire, but some are slamming the magazine’s anti-Photoshopping efforts, claiming Hawkins does not represent real women.

Editor Jackie Frank told The Australian that the images were inspired by a survey of 5500 readers, which showed that only 12 percent of women were truly happy with their bodies. Marie Claire put Hawkins on the cover to make a positive statement about body image and the photographs of Hawkins will be auctioned later this month, with the proceeds donated to the Butterfly Foundation, an eating disorders support group.

In the interview, Hawkins says, “I’m not a stick figure–I thought it would be great to tell women to just be themselves and be confident.”

But the cover sparked an outcry from Marie Claire readers such as “She wants to make [women] feel more comfortable about how they look, gee thanks, I now feel worse! I’m a size 10 and I still have more rolls than her!” and “If anything is going to have me running to the toilet with my finger down my throat it’s a picture of Jennifer Hawkins naked.”

The Butterfly Foundation’s general manager Julie Parker pointed out Hawkins flaws, including her dimpled thigh, creased waist and skin-tone changes. Parker told The Age that photographing an average Australian woman wouldn’t have worked.

“The thing is unfortunately it doesn’t make the same point, because Jennifer sells magazines and she creates awareness. If ‘Marie Claire’ had chosen to put on their cover an ordinary women, say myself or a friend of yours, it would not have created the awareness it does.”

Courtesy of Huffington Post