Sex Toy Makers Plead: Stop Vegetable Abuse

DALLAS, TEXAS – Every night, thousands of vegetables are abused by horny Americans.

Sex toy company Sara’s Secret is on a mission to end the abuse of innocent vegetables by sexually frustrated citizens who haven’t been introduced to the wonders of sex toys with their Stop Vegetable Abuse campaign.

Apparently, people are having alone time with their produce instead of simply buying sex toys from Sara’s and it’s not right.

Spokesperson Gary Krupkin says, “It’s a long, simmering problem in our society. Political correctness demands that we address vegetable abuse in all forms. Nobody wants to hurt vegetables, yet every night they are abused.”

Though cucumbers are the spokesveggie for the cause Krupkin laments that other foods, like bananas and rutabagas, are equally abused.

Their billboards and campaign ads have caused controversy in Texas, but Krupkin says it’s all worth it if it ends the pain.

Courtesy FlashNews.com