Lingerie Football Hits Chicago

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS – Women will be taking another step backwards today when the Chicago Bliss kick off their season tonight at the Sears Center Arena. What would a “Bliss” be? A female lingerie football team. (And I thought prancing around on stage in a swimsuit and heels was bad?)

Unlike The Miss Universe pageant, the organizers of Lingerie Football League are at least honest about how they choose their participants.

“We make no bones about it.” Said Stephon McMillen, media director for the Los Angeles team. “We have to be able to pull fans into the arena so we looked for players that are beautiful, but they also have to be athletic and definitely have confidence.”

The players are gorgeous, freakishly tall and ridiculously skinny….(with the exception of having huge boobs- there isn’t much for these women to grab on to when making a tackle.)

Yes- there will be tackles. No punting and no field goals- but tackles.

The women have to look good when running at full steam. (Do you know how hard that is??) Since they aren’t wearing shirts- the numbers go on their ass.

I think women should play any sport that a man plays. I just wonder why we have to do it in garter belts and lace panties?! If they are indeed great athletes, and can tackle, then get involved with the Women’s Football Alliance. If you have to put on a full face of makeup before taking the field, and get a bikini wax, then it shouldn’t count as a sport.

This might be a lot like watching Vh-1 Reality show Rock Of Love with Bret Michaels, when the women play a tackle game of pigskin in the “Mud Bowl” to win Bret’s heart. I just hope nobody pops an implant.

If you haven’t made plans for the weekend- and you wanna watch some chicks get slammed around in bras and underwear, you can head on out to the burbs. My guess is that most of those attending the game will be unattractive, overweight men, but if that describes you- then you’ll be among friends.

The Bliss’ first opponent will be the Miami Caliente. Tickets for the event in Hoffman Estates range from 8 to 63 bucks. If you miss them this time, the next home game isn’t until December 18th, when they play the Philadelphia Passion.

In the meantime, I’m going to do some digging and see if I can find out who is responsible for these terrible team names?? As if the Philadelphia Passion weren’t cheesy enough, there’s also the Dallas Desire, San Diego Seduction, and New York Majesty. Is this the best you could do?!

Former Bears coach Mike Ditka is taking an equity stake in the league, so maybe he helped come up with some of them.

You can do better than that, Mike!

I think Da Bliss has a better ring to it, don’t you?

Courtesy ChicagoNow.com