Toilet Snake V Trouser Snake

TAIPEI, TAIWAN – A Taiwanese man recently suffered what many men might deem a fate worse than death. When sitting down on a toilet at his home in rural Taiwan, a snake bit his penis, Reuters reports.

The snake was hiding in the toilet and struck the man as he sat down. The report goes on to say he was then taken to the hospital, where he was being treated for “minor injuries.”

Minor injuries? Since when does a snake biting your penis constitute a minor injury?

Apparently, the chief concern was infection. “As soon as he has passed the risk of infection, he can go,” Reuters quotes a director at the hospital as saying. “A snake’s mouth isn’t always clean.”

As cringe-inducing as this story is, my first thought upon reading it was, “If this happened to me, what would I tell my boss when I called in sick to work the next day?” Can you imagine the doctor’s note necessary to substantiate such a claim?

“To whom it may concern:
Mr. Hart was unable to attend work yesterday due to a toilet-related injury sustained when a snake hiding in the bowl jumped up and bit him – right in the penis. As you may know, a snake’s mouth isn’t always clean, and we needed to monitor Mr. Hart (and his injured penis) until we were confident he was not in danger of developing a penile infection.

Sincerely,

Dr. John Thomas

P.S.: Your organization may benefit from distributing a pamphlet I am sending back with Mr. Hart, entitled ‘Basic toilet safety 101: look down before you sit down.’ “

[Reuters]

Courtesy The Sequitur

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