Life Sucks, Then You Die, Then You Get Screwed. (Isn’t that the wrong order?)

mummyCLOVER, SOUTH CAROLINA – A South Carolina man allegedly suffering from a mental illness that causes necrophilia pleaded guilty but fucking sick Wednesday for attempting to dig up the grave of a 12-year-old girl. Bryan Nicholas Garcia, 23, of Clover pleaded guilty to two charges of destruction of a graveyard and one of sexual assault on a dead body for the April 2005 incident.

Garcia was sentenced to 20 years in prison sentence and ordered to register as a sex offender.

Garcia’s luck ran out May 4, 2005. Officers responded to the Clover Food Lion, where Garcia had run through the store clad in a full-length green coat, black sweater, camouflage gloves and a mask. Garcia was arrested and charged with concealing his identity. Police searched his car and found gloves, plastic bags, shovels, a pickax and other implements of destruction. Garcia admitted that he had been digging up graves.

Further investigation turned up the fact that there had been tampering with a gravesite in a local cemetery. Upon further questioning Garcia admitted to reading the obituary of a 12 year old girl that he thought was “cute” and he further confessed to wanting to “take her home and have fun.”

Garcia, a National Merit Scholar, is a former York Technical College student whose interests included writing and filmmaking. According to his attorney, however, he had one weakness, “He has a chemical imbalance in the brain.” Now there’s an understatement. As a testament to his creative powers, police found several of Garcia’s diaries, with entries about girls attended high school with. According to officials he wanted to kill them and take them home with him. Garcia’s diagnosis included necrophilia, pedophilia and schizophrenia. A fact that we at Naked Circus can only salute as an example of the sort of ambitious overachievement that we lack.

Courtesy Herald Online

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